'♥A SmarTieS AddIct'

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

An Evening in Paris. The Third.

A stranger to me you once were.
On a fateful day we encountered.
With a gentle touch you took my hand
Smitten, I surrendered my heart to you my man.

1096 days have passed us by
Besides the figure nothing has changed,
for my love for you remains unfazed,
and it is still your affections that I crave.

A love oh so true we have found,
as our lives become intricately entwined.
What used to be two has now become one
The beauty of this magic will never be undone.

7 November 2008

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
12:34 PM

As I tuck myself in bed now,
I long for nothing more than your company and comfort.
Today has been a series of hurting and saddening events.
I feel utterly down,
my spirits are lower than the lowest point imaginable.
I need you to pick me up,
love me,
care for me,
and make everything all ok again.
Like you always do.
I feel like crying again.
My spirits are battered,
my soul drained.
Happiness seems so far away,
so hard to reach,
almost impossible,
like an unreachable dream,
swearing never to realise.
Come my love,
take me away and bring me back to sanity.
Like you never fail to.

1st December 2008

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
12:22 PM

Friday, September 26, 2008

oh, how ignorance pains one but is bliss for the other

Truly, love is bitter sweet.
People say it all the time, but I never realised what it meant
Now I do
Indeed, love is bitter sweet
There are times where I just go beyond sanity, feeling so in love and loved in return
Twirling in this exciting vibrant glass ball of love
But there are also other times where I’m just drowned in frustration
In my state of confusion, I wonder if I am wrong to feel that way
Is it me? I ask myself.
Those depressing moments create nothing stronger than urges to wet my eyes, and pour my emotions out-to cry in vain hope of being overwhelmed with serenity
But, nothing ever falls as you plan, and so I learnt

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
1:12 AM

Thursday, April 12, 2007

ok, so school's starting in like 3 days, and im totally ready, NOT! gawd, i dread the thought of having to wake up so early in the morning only to be greeted by a train jam packed with rude-jostling-elbows-and-sleepy-heads-trying-to-rest-on-my-shoulders. dang, im NOT a morning person! but ok, on the bright side, ive got just one more year!! say HOOORAAHH!!

im totally bugged by the fact that ive got sand fly bites on my legs! all over my legs! crappo! believe it, 6 bites just on the right foot! and they're holy-shmoly huge dark red bites that look like swells. and trust me babeh, they're blooody itchy!! even after applying antiseptic cream. and at night when i sleep, i use leggings so as not to scratch them. hah!

ok, so what else?
driving, u-huh! DRIVING!
haha.. driving's been pretty ok. passed my FTT and booked my TP. its on the 6th of aug (mama's birthday), and that's the earliest! haha. im done with right turns, overtaking, u-turning, lane changing etc. im now going through my test routes. woo hoooo!! ive got one more module to go. before i booked my TP, i thought i could pass by june, and so i kanchong-ly booked all my practicals till may 10. and now, because TP's in august, ive got to cancel most of my booked lessons and reschedule it such that there wont be a vast gap between my last practical and my TP. grrrr!! Ive got about 7 or 8 lessons in hand now, just need to book about 4 or 5 more lessons to avoid a huge gap.
actually, booking my TP on the 6th of august is a pretty risky thing, cos its a school day, the last week of Sem 3.1 actually. im just hoping that my FP3.1 tests wont be on that day, else, ill be a whacked bird!

oh wells, ive to run now, driving prac's at 4:25.p.m. will be covering more test routes today. :)

~cheerio~

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
2:43 PM

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

ooohh hellos. as some might have already known, ive been coughing quite alot these past few days. typically me, i ignored tt cough and refused to be sick. but then, i must have eaten sth (ok fine, its chilipadi at siam kitchen.. ggrrr!!) and tt sth triggered a sore throat. when i woke up this morning, i felt terrible. you know, tt feverish feeling; back ache, headache, strain in the neck, discomfort on my throat etc. i was very afraid to tell my mum tt i didnt feel too good for i fear that she would nag at me for being so ignorant, and not being able to keep fit. you see, since the begining of this year, till now, ive had sore throat thrice! and last year and the years before that, countless times. ive got a very sensitive throat which strictly restricts me from indulging in spicy food. sucka! anyhows, as much as it was painful for my throat to swallow, i swallowed tt sick feeling in me just till i couldnt take it anymore and broke the news to mum. luckily, by the grace of God, she wasnt mad. she told me to go to the polyclinic. the last two times i was sick, i went to private clinics. mum didnt want to waste so much money on clinics again, so she made me go to the polyclinic.

ok, so i did, i went to the polyclinic. waited for about 1/2 an hour before actually going in to the doctor's room for consultation. i told the doctor whatever problem i had. being prone to sore throat, i expressed my worry to the doctor. i asked if there could be anything seriously wrong with my throat since ive been getting it too frequently. (i was thinking of a tonsil operation or sth) he didnt answer my question imeediately.
Doc: "So, what are you doing now?"
Me: "huh?"
Doc: "you still schooling?"
Me: "yeah, im doing a diploma in early childhood"
Doc: "you're worried about your throat?"
Me: mmmm, yeah!
Doc: ok, there's nothing to wrong with your throat
Me: for real? but i get it all the time. its too frequent.
Doc: mmmm.. do you talk alot?

omg!! i swear, i wanted to stuff the thermometer that he was holding down his throat. can u believe it? he asked if i talk alot. like as if tts the cause of my sorethroat. i told him that im on vacation now. its impossible that my sorethroats are a result of me talking alot. and besides, ive never gotten sorethroats when i did my teaching practicals then. never! i was so insulted when he suggested tt my sorethroat was a result of me talking too much. stoooopit doctor! if one day, i ever find out tt there's sth terribly wrong with my throat, ill sue tt doctor, for not detecting it earlier and for insulting me.

oh wells, imma catch some sleep now. enough of nonsense.

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
11:20 PM

Friday, March 23, 2007

everyone's saying ive lost weight and that im so skinny. i used to like it when ple said ive lost weight, but now, the way they're gg, its like as if im some bulimic girl, who's all bones and no flesh. my aunt was massaging me just now, and she kept going on about how boney i am. and another aunt ALWAYS jokes about how my hubby-to-be(whoever tt may be) wouldnt enjoy my hugs cos im all bones. even my mum, whenever i spend my nights with her (when dad's away), she'll hug me like a bolster and always comments on how skinny i am. she says that she enjoys hugging papa more than me, cos papa's got more flesh and im just like a stick. *sighs* its hurts sometimes when mama calls me jerangkung (skeleton). she says i look like a sick person. and my nani, recently when she saw my dad, she asked him if im heartbroken or something. Lol! she thinks im heartbroken tts why im soo skinny now. anyway, just so you all readers know, im NOT skinny ok. i just dont have the height. My height's 156 (i think) and my weight's 45kg(checked this morning). do the math y'all, im NO skinny babe ok! but whatever it is, im not fat or chubby either! ill go on a bulimic diet if anybody ever says i put on weight. seriously, no kidding!

anyway, for the past nights, ive been seeing smaries' family on a regular basis at the mosque. haha. it gets me more jittery than excited actually. (they all look really fierce and it intimidates me [but actually they're quite friendly too]) and recently, ive been telling my mum more abt smarties and his relatives, cos you know i always bum into them there. and you know, surprisingly, mama's pretty cool abt it. she seems to be VERY cool abt it. given the fact that ive NEVER told her that smarties and i are together, her reaction to whatever i have to say abt smarties and his relatives who were there, is so damn cool. its so cool, tt its begining to suggest that she's a lill supportive of smaries and i. i think she must have guessed that we're tgthr. hell, its been 16 months man! the longest ive ever been in a relationship. but whatever it is, i dont intend to let her know of this r'ship unless he's taking me to a higher level. and that would take MANY years. heh! so there goes. its all hush hush for now.

aight aight. ive to turn in soon now. have an early mrning to catch tmrw.

nighty night. sweet dreams bebeh!!

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
10:44 PM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

my niece is growing a tooth.. yaey!! but she's down with fever. imagine an 8 month old baby, down with fever. what a pity! i cant believe how fast ghaalia has grown. it feels like only last month when bhai farhan got married, and only last week when boo got pregnant, and only yesterday when ghaalia was born. and now, today, she's growing a tooth and down with fever! man, maybe tmrw she'll start talking already! heh. they're coming over in a while now. weeeee~ cant wait. i mis my princess saahib so so much. heh.

anyway, i was going through my diary this morning. the diary where i wrote when i was in secondary school. haha.. those kental days! lol! aaaanyhows, i came across this poem i copied down from some lady named Veronica A. Shoffstall. i thought maybe id share it here. it's quite meaningful, and i think i understand it better now than i did back then.

After a while...

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesnt mean leaning

and company doesnt always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses arent contracts

and presents arent promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats,

with your head up and your eyes ahead,

with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns

if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and you really do have worth.

And you learn and you learn

with every goodbye you learn....

♥bring me back my childhood; my days of innocence`
2:39 PM